A Childs Christmas

Is there anything more precious than a child at Christmas?
This was the first Christmas that K really understood what was going on and she did not disappoint. She was so fun decorating the tree. She broke several ornaments and her reaction was so very cute. Then grandpa broke one and her reaction was priceless.
She was asking everyday for weeks if it was Christmas yet. Finally, on Christmas Eve we were writing a letter to Santa and leaving some cookies and milk for him and carrots and sugar for the reindeer. She left about 8 cookies for Santa to eat. I guess she wanted to make sure he didn't go away hungry. I read the letter to her and asked if there was anything else we should say in it. She looked at me and said "Merry Christmas" with the cutest little impish grin. Then she said "Love mommy daddy K and J......... and a dog named molly". so that is what we wrote.
I rounded the corner Christmas morning just as she was coming out of her room. She had this look of curiosity on her face as if she wasn't sure whether it was me or Santa that she would encounter. She asked me if Santa had come. She had the most amazing twinkle in her eye as she rounded the corner to see all the presents under the tree. It reminded me of the pure excitement I used to feel as a child on Christmas morning. I could feel it emanating from her.
I am very thankful for the opportunity to see Christmas once more through the eyes of a child. What a gift from a beautiful little girl. You don't even know what gifts you and J give me daily.
Thank you for a terrific Christmas.
I Love you and J and Mommy so much.

Perspective

Life is so funny. We work all of our adult lives towards our careers. It starts in college. Becoming important, working towards being respected in our fields. We move on to work and start slowly, working small deals and forging ahead. We gradually move up to larger ones and project leaders, senior management and so on. Sometimes we get to feeling like we are oh so important and indispensable. Sometimes that our jobs are the most important in our families. It's hard not to feel that way when we are successful and making money for our companies etc.
Then we have babies.
No matter how important I feel at work or how many successes I find there or how much money is made by myself or the company, I come home to realize what is truly important.
I walk in the door and am reminded what is the really important work of my life. I must know the names of all my daughters stuffed animals. Lucy (pronounced Mucy), Emily, Charlie and Lola, Summer, Zachary, Dee Dee, Tigger, Elmo, Poo, Sally etc. Believe me when I say there are a lot of them. I must know why my son is crying or whining as he doesn't yet talk, all the while cooking supper and making sure K is not destroying anything. Then I look at N and realize that she has all that and a half a dozen other things going on at once and I realize I am truly outclassed. My wife stays home mostly with the kids except for a couple of days a week. She also holds down a job that ends up being about three quarters time even though we intended for it to be half. Somehow she manages to be a superb mother who is doing the lions share of the work of raising our kids. I do the best I can and feel as though I am definitely hands on with them but I don't kid myself about who has the instincts and training to make sure we are raising two independent thinking, polite,kind and respectful kids.
Humbling.

Down, But not Out

I like to think of myself as at least somewhat tough, but I do have my limits. Apparently 7 hours on the couch in the middle of the night with what feels like a knife being slowly twisted in my back is it. The Limit. Turns out you have to wait another couple hours at the doctor before they realize you need emergency surgery.
I've had kidney stones before. Usually they pass after a few hours of agony and a gallon of water. I only had one that didn't. It was the first one 12 years ago. Then there was this one. It was big enough that it blocked the exit to the bladder and my kidney swelled to about twice it's normal size. The x-ray was cool but I was in no mood for cool. Although the Demerol was working pretty well by then. An hour later I was in surgery. One day of sleeping it off while my awesome wife took care of the kids and me and everything else and I started feeling like normal again.
When I was a young man staring at the anesthesiologist, I used to think that if I didn't wake up then there were worse ways to go. Now I found myself thinking, I hope I make it through. I hope the kids will be OK if I don't. Thank goodness I did. I don't want to miss a single minute of this fatherhood thing.
Now, If my doctor is worth the money he has made off us this year alone, then he will figure out how to make it so N and I never get another one.
This is one thing I pray I won't pass on to the kids.

Favorite Bathtime Moments

I was giving J a bath tonight and he reminded me of one of my all time favorite moments.
I was slowly pouring water from a cup and he was watching inquisitively. Then he reached up to try and grab the stream. I love the look on his face as he tries to figure out why he can't hold it in his hand. I remember K doing the same thing. I love being able to see the wheels turning. And the sheer joy splashing can bring too.
Thanks for reminding me how insanely interesting the world is J and K.

The Big Take Off

J took off this weekend. He started walking in earnest. We went out to Mom's for an early Thanksgiving. It was a nice weekend, but never long enough. J and K have twenty or so cousins and it didn't take him long to figure out that if he was going to keep up he was going to have to walk. He has been taking steps for a couple weeks now but not really using it as his primary locomotion. I think mainly because he is so fast at crawling. But that all changed this weekend. little boy is growing up so fast. He got his first haircut this weekend too. Thanks Aunt Gi Gi.

Thanks everyone for a fun weekend. I haven't laughed that much for a long time.

Big Spooky Steps

Sorry K and J. I haven't blogged in awhile. It's not that you haven't been and done amazing things. It's just that daddy has been very busy lately and frankly, a bit stressed. Some very cool things have been happening around here. J, you took your first steps. You just up and went about 5 steps. It is pretty amazing to watch you cruise like that. You still like crawling more, but that is just because you are so fast at it. I'll post some video of you.

Halloween was a big success. K was a beautiful Princess and J was her Prince in need of one little kiss. We had fun with all the gang trick or treating. Then we were off to the mall to see Wyatt from Super Why. K was mesmerized by him. She just stood there and stared and stared. We got a picture with him and then tried very hard to get out of there. It was a mad house with all the trick or treating.

Mommy and Daddy are relieved this year. We elected a new President and we are happy with America's choice. We feel like we need to move in a different direction and I think we picked the person who has the best chance of taking us in that direction. Hopefully by the time you read this things will be better and we will not be having such a national crisis in our country. I know this post is dated before the actual election because I started it before but finished it after. Yep we have our elections on the fourth, even in the old days. :) We love you and only want to leave you with a world that is better than the way we found it.

I will try to blog more frequently.

J's First Birthday

I can't believe it. J is one already. We had the usual fanfare. Lot's of great friends and family. Food. Cake. The whole nine yards. It was fantastic. I just can't believe it's been a year already. J is the sweetest boy. He is so quick with that big smile. He loved his cake. He got it all over. It was great. It was like he was painted. I got to spend the day with him and K today. K went to dance class, so it was just me and him for awhile. We had the best time. We went out to the new swing that I got up today. He giggled and giggled. (see the video) Then we came inside and played together on the floor. He was so fun. He has such a good little personality. He likes to mimic what I do. I love those moments you have with your kids sometimes. You know the ones when nothing really special is happening but you want it to last forever. it's like nothing else is there. It all just melts away. I will always treasure those moments. Tonight was one of those for me and J. It was wonderful.

Cabama House

This is what K called the Cabana house we stayed in on our vacation. She seemed to love the ocean as much as her mother. We had to drag her off the beach kicking and screaming everyday. She just wanted to stay and play in the sand for hours.
I was amazed at both my kids capacity for growth and change. K did not want to go near the water either in the pool or ocean the first day. By the end of the week she was jumping into my arms in the pool from the steps and running into the ocean with me. I couldn't believe it. I was worried about her learning to swim but now am not concerned. I just need to get her to the pool more frequently. J was the same. He wouldn't even look at the ocean in the beginning. By the end he was floating around the pool in his floating device on his own. (With us nearby of course. don't call CPS)
Overall, we had a wonderful time together. K's new thing is saying probably. sounds like probly. We have a book on a kids first 100 words and I ask her to identify the items. There is often more than one so she will say probly right here and right here, pointing. On the way home she asked where we were going. I said we were going home and she said "to the cabama house?". I said no, to our house and she said "probly the cabama house." Sweet girl. She really loved our vacation.
N and I even managed to get out on our own while the grandparents watched the kids. We celebrated our 5th anniversary together by having dinner on the beach at a nice restaurant. It's our usual, but it was nice at the beach. Happy Anniversary honey. I love you.

Big World Little World

Funny how big and how little the same things can be. Or how short and long.
We drove to Florida for vacation last week and had a wonderful time. More on that later. I called my mother from the road to see how her progress was going. We were all going down to see my sister get married. They were leaving from Ohio and I, from Indiana. She was ahead of us by about twenty minutes and about to stop for fuel. I called back and asked where they were. Dad said they were just coming up on exit 20 and I looked up at the sign we were passing and I was going under exit 20. What are the odds that we would end up driving through Kentucky and Tennessee together on a trip of over 700 miles? My sister was driving and they caught up to us. It made the drive go rather quickly and we played cat and mouse for awhile. Finally, we pulled over for some gas and so Gma and Gpa and my sister could see the kids, since it had been awhile. It was a nice way to spend about half the drive. They pulled over to sleep and I pressed on so we could make it while the kids slept. We thought this would be the path of least resistance. Turns out N was nervous the whole time that I would get too sleepy, despite my best argument that I would pull off and nap at the first sign of fatigue. She didn't sleep much either which made for some grumpy parents when the kids woke up. But we made it and witnessed a wonderful wedding and had a nice vacation at the same time. We are just thrilled about my sisters new husband. He is a great guy and she deserves to have some happiness in her life. I can't wait for the new baby to come. Wahoo, go A.
The way home was much longer. We drove during the day so traffic wasn't as light. Also, kids have a way of making it long. Did you know that 6 miles ( the distance between exits) can take what seems like an hour when your 11 month old is screaming his ever loving head off. Then there is the stopping. I am used to going straight through whenever possible, but you can't do that with kids. We did a lot of stretching our legs and running off as much energy as possible.
All in all it went really well though. K did a wonderful job and was a very good traveller. J didn't understand why he couldn't be held while we drove and got tired of being confined. He likes to be mobile so it was a bit of a struggle. Really, even he did well considering.
Next year we will just have to plan on the extra time and maybe make some extra stops on the way with things to do.

Chase

For awhile now Jack has been crawling away from us and then suddenly stopping to look back. I thought he was just checking to see if we were still there or maybe to see if we were still looking.
Now I have discovered that he is baiting me into a game of chase. Last night he stopped to look back and I was on the floor. I started to crawl towards him and he let out a huge laugh and then took off away from me. I chased him all over the house as he squealed with delight. I even got him to chase me for a minute. When I would catch him he would giggle with joy. Kate even got in on the action. Tonight, he started it again by giving me the most playful look I have ever seen him give. He seems to be discovering how to interact more when he plays. Much to his fathers delight.

Uninspired

I have not been writing of late. I just haven't felt inspired at all. I decided to write just to do it and see what comes out. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about. I guess I have just been busy and stressed and haven't done it. We are going on vacation in a couple of weeks, so there is a lot to do. Well, I guess it's kind of a pseudo vacation. My sister is having a last minute destination wedding in Florida and we are making a vacation out of it. We have some friends in Jacksonville and are going to visit them when the wedding is over. I am looking forward to it although it is straining the budget quite a bit. We hadn't really planned on a vacation this year since we bought a new house etc. but I think we will be able to manage it alright.
K has been stressing us out lately. She does so well some days with going potty in the bathroom but then she always seems to slide back into going in her panties. She knows what to do but just can't seem to be bothered by it sometimes. We have tried many things but nothing seems to work. Any suggestions here would be great. We are pretty much at our wits end.
On a good note one of my very best friends had a baby this past week. The baby looks beautiful and he and Momma are doing very well. I am so happy for E. He is starting on a wonderful journey filled with amazing moments and also great challenges ( see above). I hope he enjoys every minute of it like I have.
It seems to be a week of catching up with my best friends. I have heard from another of my very best friends this week and he and his family are doing well. The kids are growing too fast though. You will have to do something about that S. Uncle D wants some fun boy time with them before they are all grown up. Maybe letting off some rockets or something.
My other best friends J&C are trying for another baby. Go girls! I will be praying for you. You can do it. Maybe you can have a little one growing and listening to motorcycles racing around the speedway. I hadn't heard from them for a little while either since they were out of town for a bit, so that was very exciting news.
Also heard from my friend and mentor D. thanks for the email. Glad you two are doing OK.
That pretty much brings you up to speed on all my friends:) I don't have many but the ones I do have are definitely keepers.
Well, I do feel oddly better having written down my thoughts. However disjointed. I will try to keep up with it even when I don't feel like it.

The Big 3

Well, I can't believe it. K is about to turn three. It just doesn't seem that long ago that I was holding this little 4.5 lb. girl for the first time. Now she is so big. I am amazed sometimes when I look at her and it seems that she has grown overnight. She is so curious about the world and so sweet. She has started the Whys. She wants to know everything. N started to cry yesterday when she realized K is turning three. K wanted to know why she was sad. N said she wasn't sad, she was crying from happiness. K seemed a little confused by that but later said that mommy was crying because she was happy.

I love the ordinary moments that kids seem to be able to make extraordinary. We were having some ice cream yesterday and K looked up and said, 'be careful everyone, the ice cream is really tricky.' I am not sure what she meant but it was a very funny moment. Today, I was reading a book with K before nap time. Well, actually she was reading it to me. She has been doing that lately making up great stories to match the pictures. I was holding J on her bed as she read. J was playing with a yellow balloon. Suddenly, he realized that he could see through it as he held it up to his face. He started moving the balloon away to make sure it was the same things that he was looking at through the balloon. Pretty soon it became a game. it was like his own little hide and seek game. It was fascinating to watch. All the while K was making up a story to go with the pictures in the new little bear book she got from her grandma for her birthday. An extraordinary moment in our lives and all we were doing was reading a bedtime story. I love it.

The Brave One

K and I went on a Daddy-Daughter camping trip last weekend. Nand J stayed home. Oh yeah, and my entire family and their families went too. It was a typical wild weekend with my family including lots of fun and drama. Five girls and my mom. It's hard not to have drama. Or fun. K really enjoyed it and was very good the whole weekend. Lot's of kids to play with and Lot's of fun things to do. We had water fights and swimming. Biking. Probably my favorite part was going down to the creek and skipping rocks. K is so brave. She didn't even hesitate and loved playing with the rocks. She didn't seem to mind the fish or the craw fish at all. It was really nice having a whole weekend with her. She is an amazing little thing. You can almost see her little mind working.
Wednesday N, J, K and I went to the county fair. We like looking at all the animals and eating fresh sweet corn. J was really curious and looked around a lot in wondrous amazement. K, the Brave, wanted to ride on the rides. We went on the train first. then the space ship. They were pretty benign. She wanted to ride the motorcycles like daddy. They started off pretty fast and I thought she might freak a little, but she hung on the first couple of laps and then she got comfortable and started looking up at the ceiling while it all whizzed by. Then she wanted to go down the big slide. N and I thought she might get freaked out going up the stairs and being that high up, but she didn't even blink. We got to the top and I asked if she was ready to go. She said yes and off we went. We got to the bottom and I asked her if it was fun and she said "let's do it again, daddy!" So we went to get back in line.
We had a caricature artist draw the kids and they turned out great. Then we started heading for the car since it was already and hour and a half past their bedtime. We walked past the pigs since we missed them on the way through the first time. I asked K if she saw them and heard them oinking. she said " yeah, they're in their nests daddy". they were all in cages for the night. I thought it was super sweet. she is such a sweet girl. and brave. N and I worry that she is too brave sometimes. I guess it's a parents job to worry.

Bonne Quatorze Julliet, Tout Le Monde!

It was a good evening, this one. The kids are obviously feeling better after a weekend of cranky fussy snotty sickness.
It's funny thinking about what will amuse your kids. Usually, it's something simple like playing with a cardboard box or throwing something randomly in the air. Enjoy.

Oh, it means happy fourteenth of July (Bastille Day) everyone. I was going to make you look it up. But I am too nice, I guess.

Our Pig Farmer

Picture a 6 foot something man of impressive stature who was a pig farmer. A tough man's man who doesn't have to take any grief from anyone. Someone who knows something about just about anything, and can figure out the rest. A doer who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. This is my stepfather. He was up this past weekend with my mother to visit and to help me hang a new door in our house.
Now imagine him on his hands and knees making baby talk to my son J. It makes me smile to see him melt at the hands of my daughter K. He turns into a big Teddy bear when he is around them. It makes me smile to see him with them.
Even more impressive is how quickly he retreats at the first sign of any type of bodily fluid from these little creatures. The slightest bit of spit up and he is out of the room. I remember him watching J hurl in my face and I thought he was going to pass out he was so green. Keep in mind this is a man who has had his arm up to his elbow in a pig's a#%.
We love our pig farmer. Don't ever change.

Sweet Bedtime Girl

For anyone who doesn't know it already, I absolutely adore my children.
I have a lot to do tonight with N being pretty well down and out and company coming tomorrow for fourth of July festivities. So I don't really have time to blog and wasn't planning on it. I just had to take a break to write this down because I never want to forget it.
We had some friends over tonight for pizza and some socializing. We let bedtime get away by a half hour or so which always puts K on the fragile edge. She was struggling a bit but nothing that was too unmanageable. I got her in bed and we read some books. normal bedtime routine stuff. I was giving her a kiss goodnight afterwards, which I always do and she looks into my eyes and says " You are a good daddy, Daddy"
Instant Heart Melt.

Mobility and Immobility

It's funny how life's little irony's show up. N has been dealing with kidney stones for the past several days and finally had the first of two surgeries to get rid of the little fire breathing devils yesterday, rendering her immobile. So, of course J picks yesterday to crawl across the floor to grandma who was so graciously helping us out while we went to the hospital.
N is recovering nicely but is pretty sore and I have been trying to figure out how far I can go away and for how long before he gets into something he shouldn't. It's on now. Time to find out just how much child proofing still needs to be done at the new house. It's so cute watching him go that we have been putting things out of his reach just to see him go. Poor guy, he's probably thinking 'why are they pulling it away just as I am getting to it. They used to be much nicer, bringing me all that I need and want. WTF.'
they grow up so fast. here is some video of the little cruiser.

Racing

This weekend was my trip to the track. I was pretty excited to go. I usually go a couple times a year but this year I cut back due to buying the new house and that sort of thing. I was a bit disappointed to see the forecast calling for rain and waking up to wet ground. I went anyway, hoping for the best. I was also excited to have the family there since K is old enough to remember it this time. She was pretty revved up to go too. It turns out the weather held up and actually got quite nice so there was lots of riding to be done.

I was riding pretty well and having fun dicing it up with some of the other riders. K and N showed up. J went straight to grandmas house. he's still pretty little for the track. K was so fun. She looked at N and I and said "I'm going to watch the motorcycles daddy, I'll be right back." Then when we were watching the other group ride she said to N "Mommy, go home and get my helmet so I can ride on the track" I got the biggest kick out of imagining her peddling her tricycle as fast as she could go on the track. Then I thought, uh oh, she's interested in riding on the track. How am I going to explain to her why her mother would never let her do that. I was so happy that she enjoyed it so much.

It ended up being a great day. I ran into some guys I haven't seen in awhile and we had some real fun riding together. I came up on these two guys riding bikes that were newer and faster than mine. I could tell that I was faster in the corners but couldn't catch them in the straights because they had probably 30 horsepower on me. I followed them for a lap. I was all over them in the corners but they would pull ahead in the straight aways. I got past one guy on the brakes getting into the first turn at about 100mph and it was on after that. I was lining up the second guy to do the same thing. I knew I could since I was all over him in the turns. The next lap the first guy came past me. the horsepower again. Just as he got by me I could see him starting to slow for the first turn. I wasn't to my braking point yet so I went right back past him into the turn. That is the kind of riding that makes it super fun. I was thrilled that I was right on my pace the first time out for the year. It ended up being one of the most fun days I have had at the track in some time. I love going past these guys, who have probably 10-13 thousand into their bikes , on my old beater that I paid 5000 for about 8 years ago. It makes me smile just thinking about it. It also makes it more tolerable when someone goes by my old tired a#% like I am standing still. :)

Wake Up Laughing

I don't know if any of you ever wake up laughing, but you should.

I don't usually. Today was different. We sleep with the monitor on still since K is the only one downstairs. We always tell her that when she wakes up she doesn't need to be afraid since she can just say I'm awake and we will come get her. Usually we hear her say "Mommy, I'm awake, Daddy, I'm awake". Not this morning.

I don't know if there are any Lauri Berkner fans out there but K loves her music and it has grown on us too. she has a song about messes. It goes something like this: I'm a mess.......I'm a mess...... I'm a big ol messy mess!

K loves it because we have always told her she is a messy mess when she is making one. So it makes sense to her.

So I am sleeping away this morning. Then I hear this through the monitor. "I'm awake......I'm awake......I'm a big girl wakey wake". Needless to say I laughed out loud which woke up N. So I hustled off down the stairs to my little creative peanut with a smile on my face.

Fortunate Ones

I was sitting tonight watching J play. I have a pretty heavy heart tonight due to some bad news we got this afternoon, so it was nice to just sit and watch him play for a bit. He had a dish and a ball and he was desperately trying to figure out how to pick up one while holding the other. He tried everything. He tried picking up the the ball with the bowl. He tried picking up the ball with the hand he was holding himself up with while he held the bowl with the other. A quick face dive cured that. He tried scooting the ball with the bowl. He kept putting one down to pick up the other only to realize that he didn't have both. Finally he maneuvered them into a position where he could pick one up with each hand while sitting on his bottom. Success! He celebrated by banging them together and laughing. I was proud of him for figuring this all out on his own without crying for me to do it for him.
I got to thinking about how fortunate we are. You know how sometimes you get a bit of tunnel vision about things? I do anyway. I start cranking about how irritating certain little things are. Today it was a client who had two brand new cars and a great credit score only to find out that they had a bankruptcy just a few months ago. It made me feel like that was part of a financial strategy at my expense as a tax payer. My wife quickly pointed out that I don't know all the circumstances and that perhaps the new cars are the only good thing in their lives and that they might not have nearly as good a life as we do. My wife is such a good person with such a big heart. She always sees the good and tries to help everyone she can. I love that about her. So I put some extra effort into finding the best possible insurance and price for them. The client was very grateful. That helped extend my periphery vision a bit.
Then N called to tell me that a dear friends brother was in a motorcycle accident last night and has a traumatic brain injury. He only has about a 30% chance of living at this point. That opened my eyes wide and helped me realize that I have no real problems. He has a young boy at home and it makes me feel so sad for them all. I wish there was something I could do. Go back and gently place a helmet on him so he wouldn't notice, or lift his kick stand for him as he took off. I don't know why these things happen to decent people who are just trying to get by in this world and raise their kids the best they know how. It seems there are so many rotten people out there cheating and ripping us off and doing bad things, and it's the good ones that suffer. I know there are those that will say he should have worn his helmet and this and that but I say they have never known the simple pleasure of the wind in their hair on a country ride. I am the first to say that I don't ride without my helmet anymore and I am the first to tell the story of how my helmet saved my life one lovely Saturday evening. But that is not to say that I never rode without one. I always enjoyed the freedom to decide what was best for me and so I can't fault him for that. I only wish things were different for him and for his family. Motorcycling is like a brotherhood and I feel the loss of one of my own. I only hope and pray that modern medicine can help him recover and live a full life for himself and his family.
Meanwhile, I am reminded of how fortunate I am to be able to just sit and watch my son grow and learn.

First Date

N suggested that K and I go have some daddy daughter time while she was napping on Sunday. I thought that seemed like a good idea since we usually only get time as a threesome with J. I love that too, but recognize that we are going to need some one on one time occasionally. J and I will need that too at some point. Kung fu panda was just released so I thought taking her to a movie would be fun. Then maybe some dinner somewhere special like Mcdonalds. I hope that will always be a special treat. I don't want my kids to think that is what people normally eat. I don't eat it very often and am always amazed at how salty it is when I do. anyway, so it was decided. movie and dinner. and a quick stop at Kroger on the way home for some essentials. A good date plan.
I asked her, when she awoke, if she would like to go to the movies with me. I have never seen her get so excited at the prospect before. I went to clean up and change first as I had been working in the yard and was hot and sweaty. When I got ready and came downstairs, K had put on her pretty new dress and was all made up for our date. She strutted around in it so that I could see how pretty she looked. Then she announced "I look like a beautiful Princess", and I agreed. So off we went.
We made it through the fifteen minutes of commercials and trailers and crap they put in front of movies nowadays. Then the movie started and after about five minutes K looks up at me and says "I'm done watching the movie daddy". So off to the lobby we went. She was ready to play. she wanted me to chase her around the lobby. Perhaps it was the candy and lemonade coming back to haunt me. I let her burn a bit of energy and then tried to take her back to the theatre. No luck. She simply wanted to play. I gave her a choice. The movie or going home and she started to squeal. So off we went. I was so disappointed. I wanted it to be a great day out for us. I guess I have to watch out for that. I got my expectations up and forgot that she is still only two. So we went to Kroger for some groceries.
I called N and she was supportive and suggested that we still get a bite to eat. After that I was encouraged and K seemed interested in the movie again. Off we went to see the ending. We caught about ten minutes this time and then she had to go potty. At least she let me know instead of having an accident. The bathroom was not in the best shape as most men's rooms aren't, so I didn't know how she would do with me holding her while she went. I guess she had to go bad enough because she did great. I was very proud of her. We did end up seeing the last ten minutes or so of the movie. It was nice.
Back at Kroger, we found our cart still sitting there with our groceries in it. It gave us some time to talk about how nice the movie was. She wanted to tell mommy all about it. Last stop was Mcdonalds. She did very well and was well behaved. In an amazing sort of coincidence, the toy in the happy meal was the kung fu panda, so it all kind of fit together nicely.
So, in the end, it all worked out very nicely and we had a wonderful "date". She was so excited that she talked non stop for 15 minutes when we got home telling mommy all about it. I realized that no matter what else happens I have to make sure to take time to have these kinds of one on one times with my kids. Even if it is just something simple and sort of unspectacular.
I remember the few times I got to spend time by myself with my dad when I was a kid in vivid technicolor detail. I grew up in a family with six kids, so it was a rare moment but it was very special to me. It made me feel like I was the center of the universe for a few amazing hours before returning to my place in the melee. I hope it will mean as much to my kids.

It's the Little Things

You know how it's easy to forget the little things in life?
Tonight I was reminded of the simple joys in life that crop up when you least expect it.
N made quesadillas for supper with a side of corn. It was quite good. K was eating very well. Suddenly, she says "I think I'll eat the corn". Then I could see her trying to loosen up a piece that was stuck in her teeth with her tongue. She had this look on her face. It was utter confusion mixed with concentration as she tried in vain to loosen the stuck corn. I looked at N and we both started cracking up. I asked if she had a piece stuck and she said yes. Then she started laughing too. She kept trying to loosen it and we all kept laughing. It never occurred to me that she hadn't experienced that before, but I guess we all have a first time for everything. I told her that it would come out when we brush her teeth. You know how you can't leave it alone though. she kept trying and it was sooooooooo cute. It struck my funny bone and we all kept giggling as she tried all our suggestions. Eat another bite of Quesadilla. No luck. Drink some milk. No luck. I am giggling just thinking about it. Finally she says " I'm done daddy". I asked if she wanted to go brush her teeth and she said yes. So we go in to remove the stuck corn. By the time we got the toothpaste on the brush she had worked it loose. I could see her chewing on it and she stated "I eat the corn daddy" I asked if she got it loose and she said "I ate it daddy" and then we both laughed some more. We brushed her teeth anyway to get anything else that might be stuck.
I love it. I love the firsts. I know some firsts will be more exciting and some will be sad and some will be significant, but that one was just tremendous. I forget how much these kids can teach me sometimes. Like just being in the moment, so I don't forget how much joy can come from something so simple as eating supper together.

I thought of something I don't want to forget while I was writing this. That is the way K says J's name. Dak. "where's Dak daddy?"

Mirrors and Reflection

We were talking this weekend about how our kids do and say everything that we do. It's like holding up a mirror. K doesn't hold anything back either. She will look at you funny if you raise your voice to tell her not to yell in the house. She doesn't hesitate to tell me NO NO Daddy.
My favorite has to be when she says " Honey Honey, noooo, we have to play in the sun room". Honey, honey. N and I both say this to her when we are trying to get her attention to redirect her. hopefully, she is taking some of our good habits too.
It was a nice day over here. We all spent the day together. playing, washing the car, hanging out. I made baby food for J. It is starting to get fun. I had made some duck stock a while back and had it in the freezer. I decided to cook some navy beans in it for the flavor. I don't salt my stock when I make it, so it works quite well for baby food. I added some carrots and onion too. I ground it up in my food processor and it turned out pretty well. I then sauteed some chicken and pureed it into baby food. Then I made rice. Now, he can have some chicken and rice or beans for meals. I turned the rest of the beans into soup for us. It came out really well too. I can't wait to have it for lunch tomorrow.
I am really enjoying being a dad. It is very difficult sometimes, but I love it. I can't describe it really but I hope all dad's feel this way. I am lucky I found a great wife who is so good with them.

Laying down the Law

Well, it had to happen. I am the easy one. The Pushover. N has already set the boundaries for K and I have been just riding along on her coat tails hoping K isn't going to notice the difference. I am kinda clueless sometimes but I saw her challenging me right away tonight. She doesn't do that as blatantly with N because they already have the rules set. K wouldn't listen to me tonight so I gave her a chance by offering to take away the reward that we give her for being a good listener. I guess she didn't believe me so I took it away. then she immediately tried negotiating to get it back. I held my ground and brought her back to the teeth brushing I had originally wanted her to do. She still refused, now with nothing to lose. I then offered to allow her to keep her books for the evening. I guess she didn't believe me. We always read two books before bed and she loves it. I took one away. Still no compliance. I took the other away. No compliance. Now defiance. Really nothing to lose. What now? I took charge and brushed her teeth against her will. She has a pretty strong will. Then she wants her books back. Here is where I always fail. I always try to find her a way to earn them back. Not tonight. I held my ground, and I think she respected me for it. We made up and cuddled before bed. I explained that we could try again tomorrow, but no books tonight because she wasn't a good listener. She didn't even ask to be read to when I put her down. wahoo.
hopefully, that will help a bit. Probably not, but I have to measure in small increments sometimes.

Questions for the day

Is Tax Rebate an oximoron?

Are the terrible two's just a way to bring us back to reality so that we don't embarass ourselves by thinking that our kids are perfect?

Are the teenage years just a way to make us want to get them the H#$% out of the house and onto their own?

Does everyone love their kids as much as I do?
I mean as much as I love mine, not theirs. :)

Big Words and Big Beds

it's funny how things sort of happen in bunches sometimes. We got K a big girl bed. She is so big, she dwarfs the crib that we thought she would never grow into. N works most Tuesday nights, so I took Jack to K's room, put him in his chair, and set about assembling the bed with K's help. She wants to help with everything, and she is actually a good little helper. We finished it and put on the sheets and quilt and were very proud of our accomplishment. K took a potty break and I started taking apart the crib so I could get it out the door and into the garage. Just as I was getting in the groove, J starts saying Da da da da da da da da. music to this Da da's ears. I hadn't heard him say that before, though I have been teaching him to say it for some time. In fairness, I have been trying to get him to say Ma ma too. Funny how the milestones seem to come in clusters. It sounds very nice to hear him say it even though he isn't associating it with me yet.
the building went late so K was quite tired and we had some meltdowns along the way. I am too much of a pushover, so I struggle a bit more than N in this area. We managed to get it together enough to go to bed. Laying there in her big girl bed, she looked so little. Just like when she first went into the crib. My little angel. suddenly, the meltdowns didn't matter.

Baby Food

OK, I know you have all been wondering about baby food and what recipes I might have. I haven't been ignoring you and I haven't forgotten. I just sometimes take a little time to reflect and figure out exactly what it is that I am doing. baby food is just a more bland version of what we eat. of course there are more restrictions imposed by our babies digestive systems and by their pediatricians. So, do check with your pediatrician on what your baby can and can't handle at different times. Other than that I simply go to the market and look for everything I can find. Don't let your tastes and fears limit what you can make. Yes, most babies will learn to like a lot of things that you don't. Turnips, Rutabaga, beets, spinach, Broccoli. Pears, Peaches, apples. Potatoes, Sw. Potatoes, rice. beef, chicken, lamb, pork. you name it, if it's fresh I will make it. I steam most anything. it allows the maximum amount of nutrition to remain. Blend it up in a food processor or blender and either add water to get the right consistency or add some rice cereal to thicken it up. then I freeze it in ice cube trays and transfer it to freezer bags. this way I can have a lot of food in the freezer and pull it out in nice serving size pieces. this will come in handy later too when you are blending things. At first, you know, they recommend you give the little one only one food at a time to make sure they are not allergic. This is the boring part. Once they have some things they can eat I will start blending foods. oatmeal cereal with fruit is good in the morning. Think of it the way you eat. if you like pot roast, thaw a beef cube and a potato and a carrot. mix and go. California chicken? thaw a chicken cube and mash some avocado.(i don't freeze these, unless you like your avocado brown). how about pork and beans. Yep, you can make the little tike beans the same way. boil them though instead of steaming unless you have all day. I even made K some lentils. what about pork with applesauce and sweet potatoes. when they get a bit older you can start doing things like grilling meat for the yummy flavor and blending it up. how about chicken Florentine? chicken cube, spinach cube and some rice. by the time K was ready to eat from our meals she would try just about anything. she even ate my gumbo once and loved it. spice and all. She loves seafood and we try it all the time. She is getting a bit more picky as we go but will still try most things. I like to think she just developed diverse tastes along the way, but I think I was mostly just lucky to have a kid who didn't protest too much. I hope I have the same luck with J. so far He seems to eat everything we put in front of him. I am starting to blend a bit now. Sorry I don't have a lot of specific recipes but I like to keep the options open so I can use the same foods for different meals. good luck and don't be afraid to experiment. also, don't hesitate to call me so we can brainstorm ideas.

OK, I will slow it down a bit. if you understand any of that then you can go for it. if not, I will try to start at the beginning.
I like to freeze my baby food in small portions, so I can pull it out a meal at a time. To do this I freeze it in ice cube trays and then transfer them to a freezer bag. It will last about a month this way. basically, I pick a food. Let's say Sweet potatoes. I will peel them and then cube them into about 2-3 inch pieces. then I put them into a steamer basket. If you don't have a steamer set up then just use a pasta pot and a colander. put an inch or two of water in the pot and start boiling it. put the colander over it and you are steaming. I put a lid on mine and wait until the veggies are tender. When they are tender I will transfer them to my food processor. if you don't have one you can use your blender. I then puree the veggies. if they are pretty thick I will add a little water to thin them to the right consistency. If they are too thin, like spinach will be, then I will add a little rice cereal to thicken them up a bit. This works with meat too and fruit. just start cooking things. you can grill food too or bake it. anything that would cook it and add some flavor. Once I build up my inventory then I can start putting things together. It is just a matter of finding the things that taste good together. Think of things you see on restaurant menus. I have some suggestions above but really just start playing around and feeding that wonderful baby. They will let you know if the combo doesn't work. I would love to hear from you guys with some suggestions comments or questions. let me know how it is going.

Random Disjointed Post

just some random thoughts.

N gave my daughter a homemade Popsicle tonight after dinner. She looked at me and said "Sweeet". N and I started laughing out loud. I don't know where she got it from, but we used to say it all the time when I was a "cool" teenager.



I decided to make today N's mothers day with our little family since tomorrow her mother will be here and it's supposed to rain. Since it was so nice today I asked if she wanted to go out for some brunch somewhere. She said yes and then we all piled into the car. I brought her cards and present so she could open it when we got to wherever we were headed. She chastised me for bringing it saying she would not open it in public because she always cries. I asked where she wanted to go and she said,( no kidding), how about skyline chili. So we road tripped to Indy for some three ways. What a great woman. I know I am lucky. I could have been in for a 100 dollar brunch and she wanted 20 dollars worth of coney's and chili spaghetti. :)

The car ride was nice. Our chance to reconnect. It's funny, but if we don't go somewhere in the car then we just end up passing each other coming or going or passing out at the end of a day.

She opened her stuff in the car. yep, she cried. Good thing we didn't do it at the restaurant.



I was mowing grass with my ipod on the other day. It takes me almost two hours now. It used to take 20 minutes at the old house. oh well, at least my yard is nice to look at while I mow. And I have time to think. You know how music takes you back to places and things in your past. well, I don't know what was on but I was thinking about how simple and uncomplicated my life used to be. I used to live in an apartment that I think must have been a one car garage that was converted into an efficiency. It was no more than two or three hundred square feet max. I lived there with my 50 pound dog. She was about all I had. some clothes and a 13 inch b&w TV with a 13 channel dial. I got exactly one channel. PBS. Life was simple and low stress. I could pick up and go anytime I wanted. I actually lived for a period of time when everything I owned would fit in my backpack. that is another blog. Anyway, I was amusing myself with how, since I met N ,I have steadily gained in square footage and acquired massive amounts of stuff. I often give her grief about this and how much money I had before I met her, but we both know that I had nothing and now I have this great life with her and great kids with her. But no money. And more stress. I wouldn't trade it in though for those simpler times. Just musing, that's all. I wonder if we (meaning guys) would simply all be monks or drifters without our women to drive us in the direction of civility.



OK, I know you have all been wondering about baby food and what recipes I might have. I haven't been ignoring you and I haven't forgotten. I actually just wrote a whole bunch about it but my wife let me know that I need to spend about another 1000 hours on it before I publish it. I tend to assume everyone knows how to do it and can just pick up in the middle and go forward. I forget that most people haven't spent a better part of their lives in a Kitchen like me, so I will have to go back to it and break it down to the beginning. so look back and hopefully I will have it for you before your kids are all grown up.

Morning

I got up early today so that I could go vote and then head off to work early. I had a proposal that needed finalized and an hour of uninterrupted work time was just the thing I needed to get it done. I don't like doing that since morning time is my time with the kids. I love the little morning routines that we go through. simple things like breakfast and dressing. I don't know why but it's just nice to have that time. I guess because I don't see them again until evening on most days. Anyway, K gave me an unexpected response today. I usually give her a kiss before I go to work and tell her to be a good girl and that I love her. I do the same for J although he doesn't understand. He just gives that big smile that I love. Anyway, I leaned down to kiss her and she said "No, thank you". She is finding her voice. Realizing that she has a say in things. Well, some things. At least she is polite when she says it. She used to just say in that almost crying whine"I don't waaant it". So I just kissed her forehead and said that I would see her after work. I then kissed J and N and headed for the door. K then came running up and said "wait daddy, I want to give you a kiss" I snatched her up and gave her a kiss and hug, and then headed off to work with a smile on my face.

World Class Chef to World Class Dad or How to Change your Profession and still be Happy

I was standing in my kitchen today, cooking. J was in his little seat on the counter watching my every move. K and N were napping. I put Steely Dan on the stereo and I started thinking. Cooking gives me the opportunity to do that. It always has had that kind of soothing meditative quality for me. I can just get inside my head and create. I have always loved that about this art. It's like, somehow, the chaos of the kitchen and the incredible amount of multi tasking forces me to become more centered on the inside to be able to keep it all in perspective. Anyone who has worked in a professional kitchen knows what I mean.
I was making J some baby food. I thought to myself, I have cooked in some amazing places and restaurants and have cooked for many famous and not so famous people. Somehow, none of that seems as gratifying as cooking my little man his food. I felt as if I had trained my whole life to be able to make the perfect peas, applesauce and sweet potatoes to nourish this amazing little person. I remember feeling this way when I was making K's baby food too. It is such a simple thing and yet it gives me great satisfaction knowing I am helping them to grow healthy and strong.
I am asked all the time why on earth I would give up being a Chef that took me all over the world and allowed me to meet and cook for some really interesting people, to be an insurance agent. Yeah, I wonder that too sometimes. But the answer has always been the same simple answer that I always give. So I can be there for my wife and kids. At the end of the day, they are more important to me than any job could be. Insurance allows me to be around for them in the evenings and weekends and holidays. After all, what would I have without being a big part of their lives? I wouldn't want to miss out on any more than absolutely necessary. Has it always been a dream of mine to work in the insurance industry studying risk and so on? of course not. But it is interesting and pays well enough and allows me to be home with my little family. That is where the true happiness lies. Well, when my wife and I aren't wanting to kill each other anyway. :)
I am also asked all the time, do I miss it? The answer is yes. I miss the pace, believe it or not, and the people and the satisfaction you get when the night is finished and everyone is full of good food and happy. The sense of accomplishment you get from knowing there is no putting off anything until tomorrow. You have to put it all on the table each night. (Pardon the pun)

But, do I miss it more than I would miss hearing K's little feet running through the house when I get home? More than hearing her say "father bear(sometimes Daddy), you're hoooooome!" as she wraps her arms around my legs and looks up into my eyes with that gorgeous smile? More than seeing J's big blue eyes light up when I walk into the room and seeing his chubby cheeks ball up in a big toothless grin?
NO WAY.
That is where the happiness lies. In each new adventure.

OK, maybe not world class, but a guy can dream can't he?

V day

Well, it's V day at my house.

yep, Vasectomy. I have been trying not to think to much about it since I made the decision about a month or so ago. It is hard not to think about it. I know it's the right decision for many reasons. some of them selfish and some practical and some just thoughtful. I have been very blessed to have both a boy and a girl. And yet, when I look at K and J, I can't help but feel a little apprehensive about going through with. It's strange, but knowing you don't want any more kids and making sure it doesn't happen are two different things. It's like I am taking away the potential for any more children. It makes me kind of sad, because I love them so much it makes me want to have a dozen more. I used to ask my mother why she had so many of us. It was the 70's and birth control was readily available. She would say that she loved babies. Now I get it. I know, they aren't teenagers yet, so it's easy to say I want more. It also makes me feel guilty because I know many people can't have any or can't have anymore. It's not fair that I can make this kind of decision when they don't have the choice or option. I still feel it is the right decision for me and my family. So, I'll see you on the other side............

Wow, I am back. Slightly more sterile than before. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined it in my head. A bit strange having a conversation with a doctor who literally has you by the balls. :) Really, a bit strange being awake altogether. But relatively painless. Now I just feel kind of sore, Like I have these two aching softballs between my legs. Thanks Kelly for the frozen peas. I will get them back to you ASAP:)

my little slice of heaven

Imagine this.
It's 68 degrees on a lovely sunny Friday afternoon. I take the afternoon off work for a little daddy daughter time. N and J are out of town for a couple of days. We get back to the house and I open up all the windows. K starts playing on the deck. I put on some Dylan and turn it up. After dancing a while with K in the living room she goes back to playing on the deck. I sit down in the sun room and watch her play while Dylan takes me back to my childhood, filled with wonder and discovery. I smile thinking about my kids, and the adventures to come.

Nice huh?

I wish everyday was like that.

What a weekend

wow, it started as just a regular weekend with nothing much planned. A visit from friends and some more unpacking/hanging pictures etc in the new house. Then, out of nowhere some major milestones. Well, at least in my mind.

We fed J some sweet potatoes. this was his first meal that wasn't milk or single grain cereal. I make my own baby food. It's pretty easy and it makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I am doing something healthy for them. You know, no preservatives and all the vitamins aren't cooked out of them. Anyway, N made milk for them for the first several months of their lives and now it's my turn. you know? It feels good. Plus I can give them a much wider variety. K ate Rudabegas before she was one. Look it up. It really is a vegetable. I like to think this is why she is a good eater and willing to try just about anything. The reality is that I am probably just lucky that my kids aren't picky. Well, at least K. I don't know about J, but he seemed to like the sweet potatoes. Later, I will make some carrots and Butternut squash. You have to start slow with these things. You can't just throw Rutabegas and Beets and Turnips at them all at once. So, that was the first milestone. A planned one. pretty neat just the same.

Then, K and J and I were sitting on the couch Saturday night watching little bear before bed. Little bear is K's favorite cartoon, although I think Pooh is catching up. K did something silly and it struck J's funny bone. He started giggling at her. She then started Cheesing it up for him to make him laugh. He got the belly laughs so hard his whole little body was shaking on my lap. This made K laugh too. Not the fake laugh she sometimes gets to make him laugh more, but the genuine can't help yourself laugh. The infectious kind. We aren't talking cocktail party laughs here. No, we are talking the make your face hurt kind. Pretty soon we are all laughing so hard we aren't sure we can stop. We forgot all about the cartoon and just enjoyed each other laughing for the next 5 minutes or so. It was really nice to know our kids genuinely like each other. I thought, man, I hope we can do this often. then, today we were in the car on our way out to get some dinner. N and I were talking a bit and the kids were riding along in the back. K was pointing out her usual shapes as we rode. I see an octagon daddy. Yep, me too, it's red. etc. Then she announces that J is Talking to her, and I can hear J giggling in the back. She starts having this conversation with him and I thought about how nice it was that they are starting to have this relationship between them. It just all of a sudden happened. before, She would ask where he was and she was generally aware of him but that was just about it. Now, suddenly, she is interacting with him on a whole new level. Amazing. And we didn't even have to do anything to prompt it. their capacity for learning and loving is mind numbing. J is absolutely in love with her. He follows her wherever she goes in the room with his eyes. It is so nice to see this happening for them. It's like they are laying this incredible foundation for a partnership that will last them forever. I remember having that kind of bond with my sisters. really cool. We are still close to this day and often reminisce about our times together as kids. Great milestone, not expected.

Then, the 'piece de resistance'. The words you always wanted to hear. You knew the day would come, or at least you hoped the day would come. The words every daddy wants to hear over and over again. Not the words that come after prompting. Not the automatic response to your words. No, you want the out of the blue, totally spontaneous, unsolicited words to come spilling from your childs' mouth...............

So, we are out on the deck on this, the first really beautiful day of spring in 2008. our first day on the deck of our new and wonderful house. We weren't doing much. Just hanging out and enjoying the sunshine. K had helped me plant some raspberry bushes earlier. she is a very good helper and wants to help with everything. I stood up to go inside to get something and K looks up at me and says........"I love you daddy". Nothing more and nothing less. I stood there for a moment and then mustered a pretty choked up "I love you too honey". N looked at me stunned and asked if that was the first time she had done that. It was. I was tearing up as I went into the house for whatever I was after. How sweet is that? Big unexpected milestone. I have been smiling since.

At dinner I couldn't help but wonder as I sat there watching my little family eating their pizza, how could I have gotten so lucky to have such a wonderful life with these great people.

The First One-Part Two

I will probably start with K. I am a pretty calm, level headed guy who doesn't usually get flustered by most situations. My daughter, however, has somehow managed to have the ability to keep me on my toes and it started from the very beginning.................



my wife had been reminding me for several weeks to pack my things for the hospital. I was systematically brushing her off (read ignoring her) since I had plenty of time before our due date. After all I had four weeks. sure I did.

I awakened at 1 AM on August 5th because my wifes arm fell onto my chest from about two stories up. I was a bit startled since I had just fallen into a deep sleep. We used to go to sleep regularly after Leno. You remember him. He took over for Johnny Carson. Yeah, it's hard to remember adult TV now that Little bear and Doodlebops consume nearly all the airwaves. Anyway, she announced that her water had just broken and jumped up to go to the bathroom. I am already up, having about jumped through the roof from the hit and announcement. I am just sort of staring wide eyed trying to figure out what is going on. You know, like the way your kids look when they aren't sure where they are or what's going on after a good sleep. I asked N what we should do since she was the one who was up to date on all the literature. I was a week or two behind since we had so much time before the baby came. of course, she had no idea. after a few minutes of cleaning it occured to me that we could page the on call doctor. N didn't want to wake them up or bother them. she is so thoughtful. I convinced her that we should since we had no idea what to do aside from cleaning up the mess.
the doctor asked why we weren't already on the way to the hospital to which we replied that we had an appt to see the dr. in the morning and couldn't we wait until then. Looking back I am not sure we should have even been having children. it turns out they wanted us there 5 minutes ago which immediately sent me into a panic. where was the battery for the camera and video recorder. why wasn't I prepared. why didn't I have the batteries charged already. this made N start laughing since I don't usually display this kind of madness and panic. She then announces that she has told me on more than one occasion to pack so I wouldn't have to do this under duress. needless to say, she was right, but I had so much time to do that later. Except for the fact that K seems to do things in her own time, in her own way, regardless of my silly little plans.
well, we made it to the hospital and things were fine. well, she was breach, but the Drs. were in charge so I was calm. Are you noticing a pattern here with my daughter. Yeah, she is a lot like my wife. I actually laugh at them out loud sometimes when they are butting heads because they are so much alike. Anyway, things seemed to be going pretty normal and our C-section was underway. 10 minutes they said, and she would be out. I could take pictures and cut the cord. I was looking forward to it. K has some other ideas. She changed her mind. She wasn't coming out. They tried grabbing her by the shoulders and she would shift. They tried by the rear and she would slide away again. The anesthesiologist is standing over my wife's head pushing down on her belly so baby girl would pop out. The nurse is calling for more surgeons to come in STAT. Blood's flying. I am strangely calm at this point. 15 minutes. Loopy girl is asking " is everything going alright". yes honey, it's fine.
Suddenly, I am wondering how we are going to deal with this if things keep going south. We tried so hard for so long to get here. Ughhh. All of a sudden I am brought back to reality when two people go rushing past with a grey lifeless baby in there hands. 20 minutes?

Everything went silent and I was unaware of anything going on around me except for the sight of my baby. I was vaguely aware of N asking if she was ok, but it seemed very far away and dreamy. I watched for what seemed like hours but was probably only about thirty seconds. Yeah, pause for thirty seconds and think about your baby not breathing. It's a long time isn't it? K is definately on her own schedule at this point. suddenly and without warning I hear the most beautiful scream there ever was. She was apparently very pissed that we took her from her warm and dark little den and was letting us know it. I loved it. It sounded so good to me and healthy and I thought, ok, it's going to be alright. her APGAR(sp.) score went from a 1 to I think 8 in 5 minutes. good enough for me. Now if N will be ok we are golden. She was not in the best shape from all the activity and lost a lot of blood. Turns out she is fine. I think I can safely say that now after 2.5 years. I am told that babies store O2 for the birthing process and that is why the 30 seconds or so didn't matter. Would have been nice if the books would mention that. Well, they might. I was, after all, two weeks behind. oops. But we had four weeks to go before the due date. Mmmm Hmmm. Not in "K" time.
The Next solid hour I spent with K. She was sleeping in her little warmer with her entire hand wrapped around my finger. I was amazed at how little she was. her hand fit exactly around half of my index finger. She had a good grip though. Strong girl. I like that. I have been wrapped around hers ever since.
.........and so it began.

The First One

welcome to my blog. I have to have a first one and I wanted it to be thoughtful and interesting. I have been inspired and encouraged by some other folks' blogs that I have read and wanted to start out strong.Then I realized that was a lot of pressure for the first one. The truth is, I have a lot I want to say and I am not sure where to start. I feel like I am about two and a half years behind since that is how old K is. Sorry K, daddy didn't know how to do this. I am not sure it could have even been done back then. Technology seems to change as fast as you do right now. Certainly faster than me. I just figured out how to text. I suppose that by the time you and J can read this, texting will probably be as antiquated as eight track tapes are now. (you'll have to ask me about this one).
anyway, I will probably start at the beginning. I was born in a small midwest........... ok not that beginning.
I will probably start with K. I am a pretty calm, level headed guy who doesn't usually get flustered by most situations. My daughter, however, has somehow managed to have the ability to keep me on my toes and it started from the very beginning.................
check back for the rest of this story. it's late and I must sleep.